MY EXCHANGE WITH OSAMA

This is a mock conversation I have with the O.B.L. using direct quotes from his new video released on Arab television/terrorist network Al Jazeera. Some of these sound familiar. Michael Moore talking points for example. (When a mass murderer starts quoting you-is that good?)


OSAMA: To the American people, my talk to you is about the best way to avoid another Manhattan, about the war, its reasons and its consequences .. I tell you: Security is an important element of human life, and free people do not give up their security. Unlike what Bush says that we hate freedom, let him tell us why didn't we attack Sweden, for example?

TIM: Let me stop you there. I will let you finish but it's pretty clear to anyone over 10 yrs old why you chose the United States to attack instead of Sweden and that was your mistake. I guarantee you. Sweden-that was a good one.

OSAMA: It is known that those who hate freedom do not have dignified souls, like those of the 19 blessed ones. We fought you because we are free ... and want to regain freedom for our nation.

TIM: Define "we." The women of Afghanistan weren't free until they kicked your sorry ass out. Is it dignified to treat women as cattle? They were dying under the Taliban because they couldn't see a male doctor and women weren't allowed to be doctors-now they can vote. That must irk you.

OSAMA: We did not find it difficult to deal with Bush and his administration, because it is similar to regimes in our countries, half of which are ruled by the military and the other half are ruled by the sons of kings and presidents. We have a long experience with them. Both types include many who are full of arrogance and greed.
This resemblance became clear in the Bush the father's visits to the region. ... He wound up being impressed by the royal and military regimes and envied them for staying decades in their positions and embezzling the nation's money with no supervision.

TIM: What about the sons of oil millionaires? As I recall your family was one of the first four to start pumping billions out of Saudi Arabia before you of course were kicked out of the country. Yes young Osama was a very privileged man, economics degree and all. I find it funny that you prattle on about military regimes who embezzle money with no supervision and then suggest that Prez. Bush's father was fond of them. Thanks to George H.W. Bush Saddam Hussein wasn't able to extend his lawlessness to Kuwait and its oil. Thanks to George W. Bush, the Taliban and Saddam Hussein's regime, both operating with little supervision and against the interests of its people, have been destroyed. Two free nations are emerging. By the way were you behind the anthrax or is that home grown loonies?

OSAMA: He passed on tyranny and oppression to his son, and they called it the Patriot Act, under the pretext of fighting terror. Bush the father did well in placing his sons as governors and did not forget to pass on the expertise in fraud from the leaders of the (Mideast) region to Florida to use it in critical moments.

TIM: So where ever you are your getting the New York Times. That should be the a new Kerry slogan "Bin Laden's against the Patriot Act too!" What act did the Taliban sign before they decided to punish women violently for not wearing burkas? And your observation about the 2000 election. I had no idea you were so concerned with democracy. I would think you would be pleased with the changes in the governments of Iraq and Afghanistan. How exactly is Al Qaeda run. Elections? Campaigns? Checks and Balances?

OSAMA: It never occurred to us that the commander in chief of the American armed forces would leave 50,000 of his citizens in the two towers to face these horrors alone.
It appeared to him (Bush) that a little girl's talk about her goat and its butting was more important than the planes and their butting of the skyscrapers. That gave us three times the required time to carry out the operations, thank God.

TIM: Well many things didn't occur to you-starting with your ass whooping in Afghanistan followed by the elections in that country. In our country our leaders read to small children in schools or-things you could have spent your millions building in Afghanistan in lieu of terrorist training camps. Our leaders do such things instead of say... raping women and killing them. Sometimes the story is about a goat. Your primary method of travel is a goat. President Bush was waiting while the secured his plane. Who's the fool? By the way the Michael Moore talking points aren't too impressive coming from a supposed "terrorist mastermind."Your no Hitler! But you are enemy # 1 and will be found. I assure you and apologize for the wait.

OSAMA: Your security is not in the hands of Kerry, Bush or al-Qaida. Your security is in your own hands. Any state that does not mess with our security has naturally guaranteed its own security.

TIM: Well don't you wish. In fact we plan to mess with your security big time. You are a vile human being whose death network is crumbling. There is no peace deal. You are responsible for the deaths of 3,000 fellow countrymen. Anything you had to say was said then. Your laughable attempt at humanizing yourself is repulsive. See ya soon.